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Things I've learned from the Mohr Board

1) If you first post on the Buy/Sell/Trade board isnt the right format, Safety Cat will go all Board Nazi on you.


2) Don't say the non believers who died in the towers went to Hell on 9/11


3) Don't try to diffuse the situation by making fun of the guy who typed that with the South Park joke about the dead Catholic Minister confused about why he's in Hell and the "welcome guide" responds, "the correct answer was Mormon... Mormon.


4) The Velocit-E Maxload is a surprising good cold weather bat that can be had for under $100 bucks.


5) 90% of softball players can hit 400 ft.


6) The no plus EST actually has a P on it. The one without a + or P is ironically NOT the no plus EST.


7) Don't post "NS-You should check out Bowling for Columbine, it was an interesting commentary about the affects of fear on American society" without expecting everybody to jump on you as a crazy liberal trying to take their guns. "But it's not anti-gun" will be ignored as a defense.


Damn, didnt we look stupid thinking all those Miken Ultra reviews would be just more Napalm Storm hype?


9) Bat doctors don't like each other much.


10) I'm the only person in the world that liked the 3DX


11) While incredibly funny, trying to make a deal with Derek Gibson is very dangerous.


12) Being the first team with Velocit-es, Ultras, Wicked Composites, and Freaks was an advantage.


13) Mohr IDs go for a lot on eBay.


14) Every bat manufacturer sucks in some way.


15) Someday the best method of cleaning bats will be discovered.


16) Kim at Demarini has to be some hot sultry minx by the number of requests for her number.


17) The biggest effect of the Ultra was turning cleanup hitters in leagues with HR limits into whining babies wanting it banned every time anybody else hit a homer.


1 These bat associations are either really incompetent or totally untrustworthy (probably both)


19) About one person a year dies playing softball, but youd think its more dangerous than sky diving with all these bans for our safety.


20) When faced with the question of whether Shakira is hot or skanky, the proper answer is hot, yet skanky.


21) Dont be the crazy alarmist screaming about how bad the decisions the government is making, nobody will listen no matter how much youve tried to prove your thoroughness of research and thoughtfulness in reviews of softball equipment. Common sense always loses out to fear of dangerous minority. And then everybody will sarcastically bitch about how youre always right about everything while voting for the same idiots to stay in office.


22) Youll also be blamed for the downfall of the board even if you average starting two political threads (typically both deleted) a year.


23) Hoarding Freaks was a good idea.


24) Hoarding 100mph Wicked Composites and Rockettechs wasnt.


25) Bat bags suck, backpacks are the way.


26) Its not a good idea to tell people, If you dont like the board, make one of your own!


27) While it was fun to buy lots of bats, let teammates try them out, and sell the rejects for profit. It wasnt fun once I noticed people were earning a living this way.


2 Big Vick steals eBay descriptions, what a dick.


29) Sharky bought and sold so many bats while injured, Im seriously worried hes some sort of a batwhore.


30) Im eternally grateful to BBQMan for teaching me about brining a turkey.


31) How crazy fundamentalist religious you are is directly proportional to how gullible you are to what Fox News reports as facts.


32) Theres really a lot of player model Mizunos on eBay.


33) 98 MPH bats kinda suck.


34) There actually are guys who dont think lesbian love is a beautiful thing. And they dont live in San Francisco is the real crazy thing.


35) Appearantly, theres a lot of repressed closet homosexual Republican men oh wait, 34 makes total sense now.


36) Diet A&W Root Beer is the best diet drink.


37) There seems to be a lot of adult softball players who want a softball video game, but marketing gave thumbs down.


3 Spraying liquid skin on strawberries seemed like a good idea until I learned it can get infected.


39) If you dress kind of goobery like you cant play to fake out the outfielders, youre an ass. If you get totally geared out to look like you can play, youre an ass. If you dress up with in goobery clothes like clown pants to show you know how to play, youre an ass. However, I refuse to play naked.


40) Where did everybody go?